How to Create a Love Notes Jar: A Simple Guide to Strengthen Your Relationship
What is a love notes jar and how can it strengthen your relationship? A love notes jar is a beautiful gratitude practice for couples where you write daily notes of appreciation, special memories, and future hopes on colored paper and collect them in a special container.
This simple practice opens up positive communication channels while reminding you of all the reasons you fell in love in the first place.
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”
— Lao Tzu
One of my most thoughtful friends came up with this Love Notes Jar idea, and it's become one of my favorite relationship practices to share with couples.
Why love notes jars work for relationships:
Creates positive daily habits that focus on appreciation rather than complaints
Builds emotional intimacy through vulnerability and shared gratitude
Provides lasting keepsakes you can revisit during challenging times
Opens communication about feelings that often go unspoken
Strengthens connection through intentional focus on your partner's positive qualities
I personally think practicing gratitude with another person is one of the most powerful things you can do to uplift and transform BOTH your lives.
Step-by-Step Instructions: How to Make a Love Notes Jar
Step 1: Get a Jar
Choose your container: My friend used a simple glass gratitude jar she found on Amazon, but you have lots of options:
Mason jar with a decorative ribbon
Clear glass container so you can see the notes accumulating
Special decorative jar from a craft store or antique shop
Plain jar with a beautiful label describing what's inside
Make it special: The container doesn't have to be expensive, but choose something that feels meaningful and beautiful to both of you.
Step 2: Cut Up Little Slips of Paper in Three Different Colors
The color-coding system that makes this practice powerful:
My friend used red, yellow, and green, but you can use whatever colors are your favorites or what you have on hand. The key is designating each color for a specific type of love note:
Red paper: Things I love about you
Personal qualities you adore
Little habits that make you smile
Ways they show love and care
What makes them unique and special
Green paper: Special memories we've shared
First date memories
Funny moments you laugh about
Meaningful conversations
Adventures and experiences together
Yellow paper: Hopes for our future together
Dreams you want to share
Goals you're working toward as a couple
Places you want to travel together
Ways you want to grow in love
Keep it simple: Many notes can be just a sentence or two. The power is in the consistency and heartfelt intention, not perfect prose.
Step 3: Share It with Your Partner
Three ways to practice love notes together:
Option 1: Daily Practice Together (30 Days) Both partners write three love notes each day (one of each color) and share them aloud as you complete them. This creates a beautiful daily ritual that strengthens your connection.
Option 2: Surprise Gift Do this practice yourself for several weeks and give the filled jar to your partner as a romantic gift for Valentine's Day, anniversary, or just because.
Option 3: Weekly Ritual Write notes throughout the week and share them during a special time together, like Sunday morning coffee or Friday date nights.
Why sharing matters: Whatever approach feels best for both of you, do share this practice together because it will help you gain the maximum relationship benefits.
As the old Swedish proverb says: "Happiness shared is happiness doubled."
How Love Notes Jars Rewrite Your Love Story
The science behind positive relationship stories:
I remember reading years ago that couples who told "positive" relationship stories about themselves stayed together longer and were significantly happier than couples who focused on negative narratives.
This love notes jar practice is a simple way to tell your story in a positive light.
What happens when you focus on the good:
Your brain rewires to notice more positive qualities in your partner
You remember forgotten moments that made you fall in love
Your partner feels appreciated and responds with more loving behavior
You create new positive memories through the practice itself
Challenges feel more manageable when balanced with regular appreciation
My guess is that once you start this practice with your partner, it will open them up to remembering their own special memories of you—memories you may have forgotten that will only add to your love story.
And by focusing on your hopes for the future, you'll ensure your love story continues for many years to come.
Creative Variations for Your Love Notes Jar
Make it uniquely yours with these ideas:
Themed jars:
Anniversary jar - one note for each year you've been together
Holiday jar - notes for each special celebration you've shared
Travel jar - memories and dreams about places you've visited or want to visit
Special touches:
Add photos of special moments alongside your notes
Use decorative paper or stickers to make notes extra special
Include inside jokes or references only you two understand
Write notes in different languages if you speak multiple languages together
Reading rituals:
Anniversary tradition - read all notes together each year
Rough patch remedy - pull out notes when you're going through challenges
Daily draws - each partner draws one note to read aloud
Future time capsule - seal and open after a certain number of years
The Connection Between Love Notes and Gratitude Practice
Why this practice is so transformative:
As someone who has experienced the life-changing power of gratitude through my own journey from depression to joy, I can tell you that sharing gratitude with someone you love multiplies its healing effects.
What gratitude does for relationships:
Shifts focus from what's missing to what's abundant
Increases appreciation for daily acts of love
Builds resilience during inevitable relationship challenges
Creates positive momentum that attracts more good experiences
Deepens intimacy through vulnerable sharing
The beautiful truth: When you consistently look for reasons to appreciate your partner, you'll find more and more reasons to love them. This isn't about ignoring problems—it's about creating a foundation of appreciation that makes addressing challenges easier and more loving.
Taking Your Relationship Gratitude Practice Deeper
Ready to go beyond love notes?
Give Thanks: A Gratitude Journal
Perfect for couples who love the love notes jar concept: This beautiful journal takes relationship gratitude to the next level with structured prompts designed specifically for two people to practice together.
What makes it special for relationships:
Two pages per day - one for each partner
52 weeks of guided prompts that deepen intimacy and connection
Relationship-focused exercises alongside individual gratitude practice
Beautiful design that makes it a joy to use together
Creates lasting keepsake of your gratitude journey as a couple
Why couples love this journal: "I highly recommend this journal. Whether you work through it individually or with a friend/loved one, I think you will be very happy with the joy it brings to your life!"
Relationship benefits readers report:
Better communication and less arguing
Increased appreciation for each other's efforts
More laughter and joy in daily interactions
Deeper emotional intimacy and connection
Greater resilience during stressful times
🏆 Voted a “Best Gift Book” by Books for Better Living Awards!
You Might Also Like
Continue building a stronger relationship:
Best self-care books for mental health: 10 life-changing reads for healing - Books that support both individual and relationship wellness
Simple self-care practices that actually work - Daily habits that make you a better partner
Self-compassion practices that actually work - Be kinder to yourself so you can love others better
Deepen your gratitude practice:
How to use a gratitude jar for transformation - The practice that can heal individuals and relationships
Create family gratitude traditions - Share the love with children and extended family
