How to Start a Family Gratitude Jar: Teaching Kids Gratitude That Actually Works
How do you teach children real gratitude that goes beyond forced "thank yous" and becomes a genuine appreciation for life's blessings? As a mom who started a gratitude practice with my 4-year-old son during one of the darkest periods of our lives, I can tell you that a family gratitude jar is one of the most powerful tools for creating lasting gratitude habits in children.
The beautiful truth about children and gratitude: Kids are naturally amazing at appreciating simple things—they just need guidance and structure to develop this into a lifelong practice.
“Feeling gratitude isn't born in us - it's something we are taught, and in turn, we teach our children.”
— Joyce Brothers
When I first started my gratitude jar practice, I was desperately trying to find hope during depression and addiction. But something magical happened when I invited my young son to join me. Not only did it help me heal faster, but it also gave him tools for emotional resilience that he still uses today.
Why Family Gratitude Jars Work So Well with Children
The science behind gratitude and child development:
Research shows that children who practice gratitude regularly experience:
Better emotional regulation and fewer tantrums
Improved social skills and friendships
Higher self-esteem and confidence
Better sleep and less anxiety
Increased empathy and kindness toward others
Greater resilience during challenging times
Why the jar format is perfect for kids:
Visual and tactile - children can see their gratitude growing
Immediate satisfaction - they get to physically put their gratitude somewhere special
Family bonding - creates positive daily connection time
Treasure hunt feeling - reading old gratitudes feels like finding hidden treasures
No pressure - if they miss a day, the jar is still there waiting
My Personal Story: How a Star Wars Easter Basket Changed Everything
The humble beginning that transformed our family:
My first "gratitude jar" wasn't even a jar—it was a Star Wars Easter basket that my then 4-year-old son and I started adding gratitudes to daily. What mattered wasn't the fancy container but the act itself, the daily ritual of looking for something good in each day.
What I discovered about practicing gratitude with children:
They find magic in the smallest things - their warm comfy blanket, a good snack, a funny thing that happened to them
Their enthusiasm is contagious - their excitement made me more excited about the practice
They remember everything - months later, they'd refer back to gratitudes we'd shared
The transformation I witnessed: Not only did this practice help pull me out of depression, but I watched my son develop emotional intelligence and resilience that served him well through childhood challenges and still helps him today.
Step-by-Step Guide: Creating Your Family Gratitude Jar
Step 1: Choose Your Container (Function Over Form)
The container matters less than the consistency, but here are great options:
Budget-friendly choices:
Mason jar with decorative ribbon
Clear plastic container from the dollar store
Coffee can covered with pretty paper
Any basket or box you already have at home
Kid-friendly upgrades:
Let children decorate the jar with stickers or markers
Use different colored containers for each family member
Choose something unbreakable for younger children
Pick a container that fits your space and family size
Pro tip: Clear containers work best because kids love watching their gratitudes pile up visually.
Step 2: Create Your Paper System
Make it easy and accessible for everyone:
Cut paper into child-friendly sizes - about 3x3 inches works perfectly for little hands
Use different colors for different family members (optional but fun)
Keep supplies accessible - paper and pens/crayons always ready
Pre-cut extras - have plenty ready so you're never scrambling
For non-writers:
Pre-draw simple pictures they can circle
Use stickers to represent different gratitudes
Let them dictate while you write
Drawing pictures is just as powerful as words
Step 3: Establish Your Family Gratitude Ritual
Choose a consistent time that works for your family:
Bedtime routine (my recommendation):
Helps children wind down positively
Creates peaceful transition to sleep
Becomes associated with comfort and safety
Easy to remember as part of existing routine
Dinner table tradition:
Incorporates gratitude into family meal time
Everyone can share before or after eating
Keeps the jar visible as daily reminder
Works well for families with varying bedtime schedules
Morning practice:
Sets positive intention for the day
Can become part of breakfast routine
Helps anxious children start day optimistically
Good for families who struggle with evening consistency
The key: Whatever time you choose, stick with it for at least 30 days to establish the habit.
Step 4: Practice the Give THANKS Method with Kids
When I was developing my gratitude practice with my son, I realized we needed a simple framework that would work for both adults and children. That's how I created the Give THANKS method—a step-by-step approach that ensures you get the maximum healing benefits from gratitude practice.
I share this complete method in my books The Gratitude Jar and Give Thanks, but here's how to use it specifically with children:
T - Think About What You're Grateful For
Help children reflect on their day: "What made you smile today?" or "What was something good that happened?"
H - Have an Open Mind
Don't judge whatever they come up with. If they're grateful for "my boogers," that's perfectly valid gratitude!
A - Allow Yourself to Feel Grateful
Help them notice the good feeling in their body when they think about their gratitude.
N - Note Your Gratitude Write it down together using child-friendly language:
"I'm grateful for _____ because _____."
K - Keep It in Your Jar
Let them physically put their gratitude in the jar - this part is often their favorite!
S - Share It with Someone Else
This happens naturally as a family practice, but they can also share gratitudes with friends or teachers.
Age-Appropriate Gratitude Practice Variations
Toddlers (Ages 2-4)
Picture gratitudes - draw or point to what they're thankful for
One simple thing per day is plenty
Make it sensory - let them crinkle the paper, shake the jar
Use feeling words - "That makes you feel happy!"
Preschoolers (Ages 4-6)
Simple sentences with help: "I like my dog because he's soft"
Show and tell style - let them explain their gratitudes
Connect to daily activities - grateful for playground time, snacks, friends
Beginning writing practice - tracing letters or attempting words
School Age (Ages 6-12)
More detailed gratitudes - encourage "because" explanations
Emotional vocabulary - help them identify different types of appreciation
Independence - can write their own gratitudes
Leadership - can help younger siblings with their gratitudes
Teens (Ages 13+)
Deeper reflection - gratitude for challenges that helped them grow
Personal responsibility - maintaining their own gratitude practice
Family contribution - helping maintain the family tradition
Real-world application - using gratitude during school stress or friend drama
Common Family Gratitude Jar Challenges (And Solutions)
"My child says there's nothing to be grateful for"
Start smaller: grateful for having shoes, a bed, food
Ask leading questions: "What was your favorite bite of dinner?"
Share your own simple gratitudes to model
Remind them it's okay to have hard days
"We keep forgetting to do it"
Put the jar somewhere you can't miss it
Attach to existing routine (like dinnertime)
Set phone reminder for same time daily
Don't aim for perfection - even 3 times a week helps
"Siblings are fighting over the gratitude jar"
Give each child their own special color paper
Take turns being the "gratitude helper"
Make it clear there's no competition - all gratitudes are perfect
Focus on celebrating each person's contributions
"It feels forced or fake"
Model genuine enthusiasm yourself
Let them be grateful for silly things
Don't correct their gratitudes unless they're unkind
Remember it takes time to feel natural
Special Family Gratitude Jar Traditions
Holiday traditions:
Thanksgiving: Read all year's gratitudes as family tradition
New Year: Set intentions based on things you were most grateful for
Birthdays: Read gratitudes about the birthday person
Christmas: Include gratitudes in holiday decorations
Challenging times:
During illness: Focus on small comforts and care received
Family stress: Use gratitude to remember what's going well
Moving or transitions: Appreciate memories and new beginnings
Loss or grief: Honor what we're grateful to have experienced
Celebration ideas:
Monthly gratitude party: Read favorites aloud with special snacks
Gratitude art projects: Create collages from written gratitudes
Thank you notes: Turn gratitudes into letters for special people
Gratitude jar gifts: Help children create jars for grandparents or teachers
The Long-Term Impact on Your Family
What happens when children grow up practicing gratitude:
Emotional benefits:
Better ability to cope with disappointment
Increased resilience during challenges
Higher levels of life satisfaction
Reduced anxiety and depression risk
Social benefits:
More appreciation for friendships
Better conflict resolution skills
Increased empathy and kindness
Stronger family relationships
Character development:
Less entitlement and more appreciation
Better perspective during difficult times
Increased generosity and giving spirit
Stronger sense of what truly matters
Start Your Family Gratitude Jar Today
Your children's emotional future starts with today's gratitude practice.
In a world that constantly tells our children what they lack, a family gratitude jar teaches them to see abundance. In a culture of instant gratification, it teaches them to appreciate what they already have. In times of challenge and stress, it gives them tools for finding light in darkness.
What you need to start:
Any container you have at home
Small pieces of paper
Pens, crayons, or markers
Commitment to consistency over perfection
Open heart and willingness to be amazed by your children's wisdom
Remember: You don't have to be perfect at this practice. You just have to be willing to start. Your children will teach you as much about gratitude as you teach them.
The most important tip: When you put your own gratitude in the jar, include appreciation for your children. Let them discover notes about how grateful you are to be their parent. Nothing builds a child's sense of worth like knowing they're a source of gratitude in their parent's life.
Start tonight. Put that jar on your dinner table. Hand your child a piece of paper. Ask them what made them smile today.
Watch the magic unfold in your family, one grateful moment at a time. ❤️
Taking Your Family Gratitude Practice Deeper
The Gratitude Jar: A Simple Guide to Creating Miracles
Read the little book that changes lives
Perfect for parents who want the full picture: This memoir shares not just how I started gratitude practice with my young son, but how it literally saved our family during our darkest time. You'll get the complete Give THANKS method, plus beautiful family gratitude practices and activities.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“Profound story! We started our gratitude jar 3 weeks ago and our family has transformed!”
Give Thanks: A Gratitude Journal
The award-winning shared gratitude journal for couples, families and friends
For families ready for structured practice: This journal works beautifully for parents and teens to practice together, or for teaching older children more advanced gratitude techniques.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“I am currently in the middle of my first 30-day journaling cycle since purchasing this book and have already experienced a positive change in mindset. My brother and I decided to work through these 30 days together focusing on work and balance in our lives. Even though we are still very much in the middle of this process, we have each seen positive changes in our outlook already.”
You Might Also Like
Continue building family gratitude:
How to create a love notes jar for your partner - Expand gratitude practice to your marriage
How to practice gratitude: 5 simple ways that transform your life - Adult gratitude practices to model for children
Best gratitude gifts that actually make a difference - Share appreciation with teachers and special people
Additional supportive practices:
Simple self-care practices that actually work - Take care of yourself so you can care for your family
Simple self-compassion practices that heal your heart - Be kind to yourself as you navigate parenting challenges
