How to Start a Family Gratitude Jar: Teaching Kids Gratitude That Actually Works

Gratitude Ideas for FamiliesGratitude Jar IdeasGratitude Activities for Kids
Written By Josie Robinson • Counselor & Author
 

How do you teach children real gratitude that goes beyond forced "thank yous" and becomes a genuine appreciation for life's blessings? As a mom who started a gratitude practice with my 4-year-old son during one of the darkest periods of our lives, I can tell you that a family gratitude jar is one of the most powerful tools for creating lasting gratitude habits in children.

The beautiful truth about children and gratitude: Kids are naturally amazing at appreciating simple things—they just need guidance and structure to develop this into a lifelong practice.

 

“Feeling gratitude isn't born in us - it's something we are taught, and in turn, we teach our children.”

— Joyce Brothers

 

When I first started my gratitude jar practice, I was desperately trying to find hope during depression and addiction. But something magical happened when I invited my young son to join me. Not only did it help me heal faster, but it also gave him tools for emotional resilience that he still uses today.

Why Family Gratitude Jars Work So Well with Children

The science behind gratitude and child development:

Research shows that children who practice gratitude regularly experience:

  • Better emotional regulation and fewer tantrums

  • Improved social skills and friendships

  • Higher self-esteem and confidence

  • Better sleep and less anxiety

  • Increased empathy and kindness toward others

  • Greater resilience during challenging times

Why the jar format is perfect for kids:

  • Visual and tactile - children can see their gratitude growing

  • Immediate satisfaction - they get to physically put their gratitude somewhere special

  • Family bonding - creates positive daily connection time

  • Treasure hunt feeling - reading old gratitudes feels like finding hidden treasures

  • No pressure - if they miss a day, the jar is still there waiting

My Personal Story: How a Star Wars Easter Basket Changed Everything

The humble beginning that transformed our family:

My first "gratitude jar" wasn't even a jar—it was a Star Wars Easter basket that my then 4-year-old son and I started adding gratitudes to daily. What mattered wasn't the fancy container but the act itself, the daily ritual of looking for something good in each day.

What I discovered about practicing gratitude with children:

  • They find magic in the smallest things - their warm comfy blanket, a good snack, a funny thing that happened to them

  • Their enthusiasm is contagious - their excitement made me more excited about the practice

  • They remember everything - months later, they'd refer back to gratitudes we'd shared

The transformation I witnessed: Not only did this practice help pull me out of depression, but I watched my son develop emotional intelligence and resilience that served him well through childhood challenges and still helps him today.

Step-by-Step Guide: Creating Your Family Gratitude Jar

Step 1: Choose Your Container (Function Over Form)

The container matters less than the consistency, but here are great options:

Budget-friendly choices:

  • Mason jar with decorative ribbon

  • Clear plastic container from the dollar store

  • Coffee can covered with pretty paper

  • Any basket or box you already have at home

Kid-friendly upgrades:

  • Let children decorate the jar with stickers or markers

  • Use different colored containers for each family member

  • Choose something unbreakable for younger children

  • Pick a container that fits your space and family size

Pro tip: Clear containers work best because kids love watching their gratitudes pile up visually.

Step 2: Create Your Paper System

Make it easy and accessible for everyone:

Cut paper into child-friendly sizes - about 3x3 inches works perfectly for little hands
Use different colors for different family members (optional but fun)
Keep supplies accessible - paper and pens/crayons always ready
Pre-cut extras - have plenty ready so you're never scrambling

For non-writers:

  • Pre-draw simple pictures they can circle

  • Use stickers to represent different gratitudes

  • Let them dictate while you write

  • Drawing pictures is just as powerful as words

Step 3: Establish Your Family Gratitude Ritual

Choose a consistent time that works for your family:

Bedtime routine (my recommendation):

  • Helps children wind down positively

  • Creates peaceful transition to sleep

  • Becomes associated with comfort and safety

  • Easy to remember as part of existing routine

Dinner table tradition:

  • Incorporates gratitude into family meal time

  • Everyone can share before or after eating

  • Keeps the jar visible as daily reminder

  • Works well for families with varying bedtime schedules

Morning practice:

  • Sets positive intention for the day

  • Can become part of breakfast routine

  • Helps anxious children start day optimistically

  • Good for families who struggle with evening consistency

The key: Whatever time you choose, stick with it for at least 30 days to establish the habit.

Step 4: Practice the Give THANKS Method with Kids

When I was developing my gratitude practice with my son, I realized we needed a simple framework that would work for both adults and children. That's how I created the Give THANKS method—a step-by-step approach that ensures you get the maximum healing benefits from gratitude practice.

I share this complete method in my books The Gratitude Jar and Give Thanks, but here's how to use it specifically with children:

T - Think About What You're Grateful For

Help children reflect on their day: "What made you smile today?" or "What was something good that happened?"

H - Have an Open Mind

Don't judge whatever they come up with. If they're grateful for "my boogers," that's perfectly valid gratitude!

A - Allow Yourself to Feel Grateful

Help them notice the good feeling in their body when they think about their gratitude.

N - Note Your Gratitude Write it down together using child-friendly language:

"I'm grateful for _____ because _____."

K - Keep It in Your Jar

Let them physically put their gratitude in the jar - this part is often their favorite!

S - Share It with Someone Else

This happens naturally as a family practice, but they can also share gratitudes with friends or teachers.

Age-Appropriate Gratitude Practice Variations

Toddlers (Ages 2-4)

  • Picture gratitudes - draw or point to what they're thankful for

  • One simple thing per day is plenty

  • Make it sensory - let them crinkle the paper, shake the jar

  • Use feeling words - "That makes you feel happy!"

Preschoolers (Ages 4-6)

  • Simple sentences with help: "I like my dog because he's soft"

  • Show and tell style - let them explain their gratitudes

  • Connect to daily activities - grateful for playground time, snacks, friends

  • Beginning writing practice - tracing letters or attempting words

School Age (Ages 6-12)

  • More detailed gratitudes - encourage "because" explanations

  • Emotional vocabulary - help them identify different types of appreciation

  • Independence - can write their own gratitudes

  • Leadership - can help younger siblings with their gratitudes

Teens (Ages 13+)

  • Deeper reflection - gratitude for challenges that helped them grow

  • Personal responsibility - maintaining their own gratitude practice

  • Family contribution - helping maintain the family tradition

  • Real-world application - using gratitude during school stress or friend drama

Common Family Gratitude Jar Challenges (And Solutions)

"My child says there's nothing to be grateful for"

  • Start smaller: grateful for having shoes, a bed, food

  • Ask leading questions: "What was your favorite bite of dinner?"

  • Share your own simple gratitudes to model

  • Remind them it's okay to have hard days

"We keep forgetting to do it"

  • Put the jar somewhere you can't miss it

  • Attach to existing routine (like dinnertime)

  • Set phone reminder for same time daily

  • Don't aim for perfection - even 3 times a week helps

"Siblings are fighting over the gratitude jar"

  • Give each child their own special color paper

  • Take turns being the "gratitude helper"

  • Make it clear there's no competition - all gratitudes are perfect

  • Focus on celebrating each person's contributions

"It feels forced or fake"

  • Model genuine enthusiasm yourself

  • Let them be grateful for silly things

  • Don't correct their gratitudes unless they're unkind

  • Remember it takes time to feel natural

Special Family Gratitude Jar Traditions

Holiday traditions:

  • Thanksgiving: Read all year's gratitudes as family tradition

  • New Year: Set intentions based on things you were most grateful for

  • Birthdays: Read gratitudes about the birthday person

  • Christmas: Include gratitudes in holiday decorations

Challenging times:

  • During illness: Focus on small comforts and care received

  • Family stress: Use gratitude to remember what's going well

  • Moving or transitions: Appreciate memories and new beginnings

  • Loss or grief: Honor what we're grateful to have experienced

Celebration ideas:

  • Monthly gratitude party: Read favorites aloud with special snacks

  • Gratitude art projects: Create collages from written gratitudes

  • Thank you notes: Turn gratitudes into letters for special people

  • Gratitude jar gifts: Help children create jars for grandparents or teachers

The Long-Term Impact on Your Family

What happens when children grow up practicing gratitude:

Emotional benefits:

  • Better ability to cope with disappointment

  • Increased resilience during challenges

  • Higher levels of life satisfaction

  • Reduced anxiety and depression risk

Social benefits:

  • More appreciation for friendships

  • Better conflict resolution skills

  • Increased empathy and kindness

  • Stronger family relationships

Character development:

  • Less entitlement and more appreciation

  • Better perspective during difficult times

  • Increased generosity and giving spirit

  • Stronger sense of what truly matters

Start Your Family Gratitude Jar Today

Your children's emotional future starts with today's gratitude practice.

In a world that constantly tells our children what they lack, a family gratitude jar teaches them to see abundance. In a culture of instant gratification, it teaches them to appreciate what they already have. In times of challenge and stress, it gives them tools for finding light in darkness.

What you need to start:

  • Any container you have at home

  • Small pieces of paper

  • Pens, crayons, or markers

  • Commitment to consistency over perfection

  • Open heart and willingness to be amazed by your children's wisdom

Remember: You don't have to be perfect at this practice. You just have to be willing to start. Your children will teach you as much about gratitude as you teach them.

The most important tip: When you put your own gratitude in the jar, include appreciation for your children. Let them discover notes about how grateful you are to be their parent. Nothing builds a child's sense of worth like knowing they're a source of gratitude in their parent's life.

Start tonight. Put that jar on your dinner table. Hand your child a piece of paper. Ask them what made them smile today.

Watch the magic unfold in your family, one grateful moment at a time. ❤️

Taking Your Family Gratitude Practice Deeper

The Gratitude Jar: A Simple Guide to Creating Miracles

Read the little book that changes lives

Perfect for parents who want the full picture: This memoir shares not just how I started gratitude practice with my young son, but how it literally saved our family during our darkest time. You'll get the complete Give THANKS method, plus beautiful family gratitude practices and activities.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

“Profound story! We started our gratitude jar 3 weeks ago and our family has transformed!”

Give Thanks: A Gratitude Journal

The award-winning shared gratitude journal for couples, families and friends

For families ready for structured practice: This journal works beautifully for parents and teens to practice together, or for teaching older children more advanced gratitude techniques.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

“I am currently in the middle of my first 30-day journaling cycle since purchasing this book and have already experienced a positive change in mindset. My brother and I decided to work through these 30 days together focusing on work and balance in our lives. Even though we are still very much in the middle of this process, we have each seen positive changes in our outlook already.”

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Josie Robinson • Counselor & Author

I help people find gratitude and grace in life's most difficult moments. Explore my books and resources →

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